saat aku jadi lebih baik

hi,peeps.i'm in Jakarta.planning to get drumming lessons,and i gained 2 kg over the week.i hope band and singapore is okay.there are mad mosquitoes here.bad internet flow.bye now.

grrrh.

i'll be up there in few hours time,gosh.
kay,lemme checklist this.
clothes,done,more or less.my fav studded cardigan is missing,big big sad face:(.
guitar+camera,done.
report book,done,should be.
chargers,yes done.
toiletries,done.
err,passport,yes of course.
money for taxi,kay later.
what else,eh?
i think that's all.
i wish that is.
oh,i'm feeling super nervous/excited,idk why.
yes,i went to band this morning.they rocked my day,hee.left early at 12,i couldn't bear the look upon mr.Ong's face:(.
owell,i seriously don't know what else to post.
kay,maybe the connection there will be a li'l disturbing.there should be not enough good stuffs for me to enjoy there.owell,at least i'm with my fam.
kay,bye.eghh.

trash

geez.i feel like banging my head to the wall till i pass out.

This song of freedom is all i've ever had,redemption song.

"freedom fighter"
oil painting on 16x30 cm canvas.
"underground beauty"
oil painting on 30x30cm canvas.

i need a role model.
who can coach me this game of life.
who can answer my bizarre questions.
who can lead me to the right path i'm supposed to be going to.
who can show me an example of how to live a life.
who can always be there for me.

oh,jeez.

We will be victorious

I finally rode Megazip flyingfox in Sentosa!:Doh,that's not me.that's just some kind of stranger.
Yes.So i went there with Pamela yesterday.As usual,i have to be lost first,til we found the Megazip.We needed to pay $30 each.And i found that Sentosa has much more unknown regions i have yet to explore,hah.
And,wow,the ride was AWESOMEE!!
I didn't dare to take any pics or video when i rode it,so there,i'll give you a youtube video.


it's even better when you feel it in real life.
i wish i have more:D.
aaaand,we had some kind of mini picnic. i made 2 lunchboxes of potato wedges,instant noodles,sausages,and pieces of vegetables. took few snapshots.moved to coffee bean,and Pam tried to be paparazzi. And went to vivo to get Justin Bieber's poster!!Yes,baybeh,now i've got Justin's super ravishing face in ma' room!:D.it's costly though,but i bought it for Justin's sake.
really want to post the snapshots i took in Sentosa,and the oil painting i just made.but blogger can't cooperate with me.maybe next time.
tomorrow band.
kay,whatever,i don't want to turn this post to another emotional post.So,bye.

given up

i like being an artist.
being capable of making beauty out of me.
being capable of expressing myself better than everyone else,which results a sheer satisfaction later on.
being capable of seeing everything so differently from commonplace public's views.
being capable of enjoying the solace of art.when you feel nothing is upsetting you,nothing's happening except you and your art and there's no tomorrow.it feels really great.
i like lying on my bed or floor,sitting on my sofa or the marble floor,playing either clarette or regin,crying myself out as much as i can,just to empty myself.
i like snatching any paper or canvas i see in my eyes,finding a pencil or paints or brushes or pens like crazy that i could flip the house upside down to find one,and started drawing something.from a dot,to a line.from a line to a circle.from a circle to an art.and oh wow,the satisfaction i get in the end makes me want to celebrate the whole world.
i like taking any camera,my phone,my dslr,my sister's camera,my friends' cameras that catch my glance.turning it on,pressing any buttons that's there,and started taking macro pictures of anything around me.and i will go on and on and on for hours till i get tired.
i like reading London's eighteenth centuries poems by all the famous poets.is it about love or life.and then digesting it in my mind.and started to write one that's pure from my own self.

oh,wow.art is my whole life.i can't describe it well enough with my limitation of vocabulary skills.but art is like the best boyfriend,best friend,sibling,parents,thing that ever happened to me.
and that clears the question;how would you feel to give up your own life?i feel like i'm dead and gone,and mean nothing more to this world.

Justin Bieber and Me

he's oh-so-perfect.
i can't stop comparing him with other boys around me.and super-obviously,he beat them all up.yes,i know,i'm so mean.
i can't stop smiling at him there,dancing and singing so beautifully.he's the handsomest,awesomest,coolest,maturest,nicest,perfectest boy i have ever found before.
i wish i can marry him someday.

p.s.look at ellen's expression when justin sang to her.i wish i was ellen,hahah.
p.p.s.don't worry ezah,he's still yours.i'll back up.or i can be justin's mistress??HAHAH.
p.p.p.s.Justin Bieber likes Rihanna!yikes,i'm so jealous.double brokenheart:(.