The Pirates,yes,they do reggae

owhkay.so i just found out that there are some unexpected people reading my blog regularly.like,strangers and just unexpected.well,i don't really mind though.just be flexible with my emo words and weird flaws in this blog,it's out of my control.hee.
and the week's been,well,just another week.i would spent the days just the way they flow.like,pretty lifeless that is.and when friday comes,i'll be so terribly happy.till..monday comes again*growl*
let's not talk about mondays. yea,marks been..pretty considerable,and i'm getting more wicker and wicker each day.i don't know why but it seems like my brain is just working for something unnecessary while it doesn't work that much in my studying.for example,for hiding from a scary-teacher-who-i-think-has-the-goddamn-PMS-that-she's-moody-every-lesson that i never bring the books or homeworks.running away from my to-do lists.cutting queues.getting someone to do my jobs.disturb somebody.and all.
eventually,my wicked ideas never fail.not.for.once.
stupidly lucky,huh.
well,that's a way how i survive school.wicked ideas.

i've painted a new oil painting because my hand were itchy while my brain is having brain-block,no inspiration inside.so my hands and brain are like fighting;
Hands:'paint something!i want to hug Mr.Brush!'
Brain:'you crazy?i've nothing to be painted about!i'm not working right now!'
Hands:'whatever,i must paint!'
Brain;'i can't work!'
Hands;'paint!'
Brain;'NO!'
Hands;'paint!'
and hands won.
it's entitled 'LOST'.on 35x45 canvas.oil paints.
yea,that's pretty much how i feel right now.

hmm,now what.actually i've a lot of on-goings lately.but i think it'll be a little dangerous to be shared here.yeah?
oh,i'm not really feeling well lately.Lower half part of my body hurts like hell.it's since wednesday.but it really hurts yesterday,so i didn't go to band.(and somebody doesn't believe me when i said that,she just think i'm finsing excuses for skipping band,like WTF) It hurt so much i almost cried on my way home yesterday because i couldn't take the pain and heat hanging on the air!yeah,i'm weak.like so what.
but i didn't go to school on wed not really because of this.somebody should know why,eh.

i think that does it.still looking for a company for the weekend.i will never be able to bear sitting down at my bloody messy house.screw homeworks and tests,this is the part where my wicked ideas are in use.bye now.

Someone who needs somewhere

heyyy.so the past days were somehow fine.
i got 7/14 for my physics test.but i don't feel anything.but i can see some people are disappointed of me.man,i didn't know i got responsibilities on my shoulder more than i ever knew.
owell.
anyway,days been tiring and i won't usually go home before 4. except for today.
yesterday i was like invited by JiaLing's mom to come over and have dinner. JiaLing's brother look like Maxi,my younger brother!0.0
we were having fun til a beetle appeared in Jialing's room.hah. we did stuffs.don't really have the mood to elaborate.reached home at 11.
owell,now that i realised i have zero interesting thing to be shared about,i'll post another sicko video of mine.
again,don't take this seriously.
hah.
kay,enjoy.

London

L is for London.
Hahah,kay keep the wonder of above's phrase.
and yes,that's Paramore concert ticket above. And that's mine. Bought with my own savings. Watching with Qurainah
IN.YOUR.FACE.
First three days weren't so great as i have continuous tests,mad homeworks,and afterschool business. I got so irritated i was acting bitchy to people for past days. I'm sorry,you don't have to be scared because you're not really at fault.Not really.
oh,the fuck.why do i even bother about it again.
oh,about the tests.honestly,i think i flunk all of them.
i got like 21/30 for amaths.the other 3 tests have not been given out yet,but as i was doing it i thought i've lost a lot of marks.
and then teachers are like,"Cindy,what happened?"
no i'm not exaggerating,they really do that.
and then my reply is like,"i was in a bad mood or something,lah,cher."
i don't know what happened,too,to be frank.i guess i jst can't do what i wanna do.it's like wasting your time for something so useless.
well,anyway!classes been so stressful and pressurizing. i think i have to learn Yoga. i don't know why but it seems so helping to me.hee.
anyway,they are stressful and all but i don't bother so much about it then,because bothering about your stresses is something so stupid and destroying.you should be thinking about something much better than that,not the useless stresses.well,that's what i learn from Yoga.hah.
I've been laughing a lot in class until my face turned red.One word:Haslina. There,it answers it all. She's like sitting on my northwest. so everytime i look to the front i jst have to see and hear her. Today was the bomb,Haslina was like making a whole damn joke about somebody and the whole class couldn't stop laughing.not the whole class,though.very few people who think studying is so more important than laughing.
so the story went like this.somebody farted.then this somebody sabotaged his partner.somebody's partner angry.they sabotaged each other.then they started to quarrel.apparently news travel fast in our class and soon enough everybody knew somebody farted.then Haslina started making jokes about it.i hoped i could record the scene but there was a relief teacher there.
Haslina and somebody became debating.Somebody was so angry but Haslina played it cool,because it's not supposed to be serious.the jokes grew.
"eh,you keep so much shit inside,ah.you use it for engine so you can fart continuously,right."
"go to the toilet lah,where you belong."
"whoa,ya lah,i crying,i crying,i'm so touched.(putting WeiWei's eyedrop to her eyes)"
"ya lah,London! London!"(making a "Loser" sign with her right hand,like what i do above,and calling it "London" instead of "Loser")

and my face turned red.and i was laughing continuously.apparently,the teacher didn't explode somuch about our behaviour.what can i say,this scene happens almost all the time.usually,it involves me,Haslina and Kahyi.

ohwell.

aside from that,everything else is pretty much okay.
and to someone,if you think i'm being sad because of the same old thing like the same old case or the same old person,you're totally wrong.
life goes on.
and i'm strong.
i let go of things.
even if it's so precious,because He has a plan for me.

sudahlah sayang,i don't believe you.

you know what,i think i'm just alive during the weekends.hah.
so the weekend's coming to an end,and i haven't done ANY of my homework or revision.though i'm having 4 tests in a row next week,and truckloads of homework.
kill.me.now.
and here i am,still sitting on my ass in front of my computer playing Zee Avi's Kantoi with my guitar.
stupid?much.
well,at least i have fun,right?yesterday was fun,too.
so i went to Bugis with Qurainah and kak Quraisyah. Quraisyah is Qurainah's older sister,she was the one that taught me how to play guitar.She was the one the help me dive into the world of music:).
we wanted to pick up our Paramore Concert tickets(YES,I'M FUCKING COMING TO PARAMORE'S CONCERT ON THE 7TH,BAYBEH.HAH! IN.YOUR.FACE.),but apparently we needed Qurainah's brother for that.
I got my textbooks from Bras Basah and apparently sold the wrong popular book for only 2 dollars! The uncle cheated lah.ISH.kay,whatever.Other than the book,i've gotten my new canvas,too. Still no inspiration what to paint though.
And Qurainah got her first guitar for 55!hah.she seems happy.
Three of us were wondering around Bugis Street randomly for about 4 hours. Just going to places for repeated times to waste our time because we didn't wanna go home.

i don't know how should i say it.It's just,pretty enjoyable:).
and on my way home,i had to take snapshots of buildings for class NE board. People in the bus were like staring at me,"what the hell is this psycho kid doing,taking snapshots from the bus?"
and all i did was keep my eyes outside the window and chanting to myself,"Seshan,you owe me big time for this.UGH."

went to church today. been thinking about joining some kind of teens retreat. i've been thinking the unthinkable lately because i'm pretty mch bored and pissed of life i feel like doing anything.

well,here's a plan for the afternoon til evening.
now's 2 o'clock.
i'll do tons of maths homework til 3.
and then revise for tests till 5,that's if i can take it.
i think i forget other homeworks,but i don't know what's that.
yeah,i didn't pay attention in class.like TOTALLY NOT.i hate it and i don't want to do it.so there i go.
oh,i don't know what do i have to do today.
the heck,i'll just stay in my room and do whatever i'm supposed to do till 7.

oh,wait,i remember one! the lame english blog posting thingy.
egh. nvm,i've got few 'paths' to finish this one.
so i think i'll be signing off back to real world then.
bye.

Copycats and Assholes. They seem alike.

Oh,God.
these guys who are trying so hard to be me.
here's a thing i'm going to say to you.
"You're such a disgusting piece of shit. See that shit in the mirror? Yea,that's freaking you."
So stop trying to be me.
It's fucking annoying.

school's been great.
if you exclude dumb people in school.
yea,it's been great with 3e1 and band.
so,not many people know about this song because it just got released 3 days ago on itunes.but because i'm a huge justin bieber's fan,i jst know about it.
and i fell in love with it,like again.
though justin's doing pop,and i'm a not not hge fan of pop,i still love it because of justin's face and voice.hahah.what else?
well,anyway,i'm too bored,so i do a super short cover of the song.and i'll present it to all of you,bieber's fans,most especially Ezah and Fathin.
Hope Ezah sees this as i can't tag her in her blog.i hope she's still one of my daily reader:).
cheer up,you two:).
oh,mind my voice.i ain't born to be a good singer.just musician.
and the hat?
oh that's for fun.seriously.i just found it and decided,"hey,that's a pretty thing.i'll use it."
so,here you go:).



p.s.i realized i've been writing emo stuffs AGAIN lately.i'll try to keep it inside and not write so much then.

a conversation to the unknown

hey there.
oh,hello.how are you?
well,i'm fine. as everyone said it. pretty lonely,anyway.
oh.why is that so?i thought someone say you got a ton of friends.
i used to.they're kinda gone right now.
gone?issit gone or gone gone?
*chuckles* no,they're not dead.at least,physically.i kinda hope they are.hahah.
what the?
hey,i was just kidding.
alright,that wasn't very funny.well,at least your besties are still there for you,aren't they?
:).oh,not really,they're walking away from me.
oh,i'm so sorry.what happened,lof?why don't you tell me and make yourself feel better?
mmh,i thought i had told you what happened.my bestfriends and my friends are gone.
no,i know that. i mean what happened to you and them.what cause it to happen.
to be honest,nothing.really nothing.just changes.you know what they say,time flies.
well,friendship is supposed to last forever,ain't it?
yeah,but i guess i have a different case now.
what kind of changes happened?it shall be big that it destroys your friendship,isn't it?
sort of.i don't know,i guess it's the time already.they get old,time flies,they change.that's how.they are just so different.
what kind of different?
they..i don't know,they changed.they're making me crying.i think they leave me because i'm boring,because they find better so-called friends,because they think they're too cool for me?why don't you ask them yourself?
i can't.they can't see me.anyway,are you okay about it?
oh,yea,no,don't worry.i'm..pretty fine.or not.
don't hold your feelings,just..
oh,okay,i'm not fine!i don't understand why they leave me when i need them the most.they ruin my life.i don't get them.they're so shitty,so stupid.owh.*sobs*
there,there,kiddo.don't take it so hard.as you say,time flies.something's gonna be better,alright.be strong.
i'm trying to.but they're so close to me i can't get my mind off them.our bond was so strong.well,at least my bond to them.*sobs*
now now,don't cry.someone's still there for you.forever and ever.
who?
me.
:).oh,thank you.
and i believe there's someone else beside me.you just have to open your eyes and hearts wider.
i doubt so.
be strong,alright.
thank you,it was really good sharing with you.
my pleasure.
now,i've talked so much,but not you. so why don't you share about your own life.
oh,i don't have to.
why?
i'm nobody,darling.i'm you.you're talking to yourself.but no worries,they say you are your own best friend right?

yes,i sure am.